Uncle!

I cried uncle last month.

I was getting my house ready to put on the market and reached the point where I had more tasks than time. After another bone wearying day, I was in tears. I knew I couldn't do it all myself. I had worked myself into exhaustion. My husband had been working nonstop after his full day at his job, my children had been scrubbing and polishing from the minute they got home from school. We weren't going to make it and I knew it.

I have always been a very independent person, even as a child. I always wanted to do everything myself and over time drew an unhealthy amount of pride from the things I was able to accomplish on my own. It is very difficult for me to ask for help - even when I really need it.

But that late, exhausting night in March, staring at my computer screen, I knew I had to. I simply could not accomplish what I needed to on my own. I needed help. I struggled within myself, feeling guilty that I was incapable of completing my tasks, until my mind finally caught hold upon a thought. If any of my friends were feeling the way I was in that moment, I would do anything I could to help them. I swallowed my pride, and sent out an email. "Uncle! I need you. Please help."

Within an hour I had responses from so many of my friends - willing to come over and help me wipe down cabinets, scrub showers and polish my floors. I was overcome with gratitude and relief.

The next day I was still apprehensive about them coming over. Would they feel taken advantage of? Would they cringe at scrubbing floors with me? Would they think less of me after having helped? I worried and wondered and worried. That morning, as one friend was wiping down my kitchen cabinets, I thanked her for coming. When she responded that she was glad I had asked, I expressed my concern that by asking for her help I was putting her out. She then taught me a profound lesson by her response. She said, "When I got your email, I didn't feel like you were putting me out. I felt like you were letting me in."

That sentiment has stayed and stayed with me during the last month. I wonder how many times my Heavenly Father has been standing by, waiting for my requests for help. We are told over and over in the scriptures to ask for His help. "Ask and ye shall receive; knock and it shall be opened unto you; " (3Ne. 27:29) In my valiant quest to be self-sufficient, how many times have I unwittingly uninvited the Source of all strength to come in and help me? When I have felt overwhelmed and burdened, why have I not cried, "Abba, Father! I need you. Please help!" And then instead of worrying that I was putting Him out, recognizing that my plea was in fact, an invitation. Letting Him in.

I'm learning that we are given challenges, at times, to help us remember that we need Him. We simply cannot make it through this life on our own merits. We need our Heavenly Father. We are His children. He loves us. He wants to help us. Will we trust him enough to petition Him for help? "Father, I need you today. Please help me." And then wait in patience and faith to let Him in.